Burglar Bungling: Five Failed Criminals of 2014

 By Brooke Chaplan, Special for USDR

Few criminals could be described as highly intelligent. Some, however, are a lot dumber than others. Though the year’s not over, 2014 has already seen its share of bad guys who should definitely consider another line of work.

Woman Catches Burglar Wearing Her Coat
In January, four teens who broke into a woman’s house and stole several items, including a video game console, and several articles of clothing, were caught when they then tried to sell them back to her. The teens approached the woman in a parking lot while she waited for the police. Unfortunately for them, one was stupid enough to be wearing something the victim recognized: her own coat. Needless to say, the police arrived and quickly arrested the juveniles.

Bank Robber Had Initials Tattooed on His Face
Putting your initials on your face in permanent ink is probably not the best career move, especially if you’re planning a life of crime. That was the painful lesson learned by Patrick Revins, who pulled a knife on a bank clerk in Hanley, England. Thanks to the P and the R tattooed on his forehead, it didn’t take for police long to track him down.

Burglar Tries to Fly Away from Crime Scene in Underwear
When onlookers saw a man clad only in underwear leap from a fifth floor window in Siquan, China, they probably didn’t think he was Superman. But that’s what 25 year old Tang Lei told a child who caught him sneaking into her apartment. She didn’t believe him either, so he made the questionable decision to strip to his undies and prove it. He was caught on a rooftop below, suffering from bruises and other injuries.

Man Leaves Facebook Profile on Victim’s Computer
Some criminals leave fingerprints or DNA at the scene of the crime, but that was too subtle for Minnesotan Nicholas Wig, who chose to check his Facebook wall in the middle of breaking and entering. He forgot to log off. Happily for the victim’s Underwriters insurance brokers (BC) Ltd, the police had everything they needed to find Wig and get the stolen items back. He faces a charge of 2nd degree burglary.

Woman Replaces License Plate with One Made of Cardboard
After her license was revoked and her car’s plates confiscated, a Massachusetts woman refused to let it get her down. She just made herself some brand new plates, using colored pencils, a ballpoint pen, and a piece of cardboard. A State Trooper spotted the sloppy imitation on the back of her car, and charged her with using false plates and driving without a license.

The moral of these stories? If you’re stupid enough to resort to crime, you’re probably not smart enough to get away with it. Choose another profession.

“Brooke Chaplan is a freelance writer and blogger. She lives and works out of her home in Los Lunas, New Mexico. She loves the outdoors and spends most her time hiking, biking and gardening. For more information contact Brooke via Twitter @BrookeChaplan.”

All opinions expressed on USDR are those of the author and not necessarily those of US Daily Review.

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